Pesto, O Pesto

As Google defines this: “a sauce of crushed basil leaves, pine nuts, garlic, Parmesan cheese, and olive oil, typically served with pasta.”

  1. Basil leaves
  2. Pine nuts
  3. Garlic
  4. Parmesan cheese
  5. Olive oil

Sadly, there are people in the world who can’t eat nuts or cheese *raises hand*. I really miss a good ol’ fashioned milkshake and a slice of New York Baked Cheesecake after a steak dinner.

This is what my brain popped up today, pesto-wise:

  1. Fresh Basil/Heirloom Tomato/Roasted Garlic/Olive Oil, possibly age goat cheddar cheese
  2. Stripped Cucumber/Sauteed Spinach cooked w Slivered Garlic/Grilled Watermelon, Smoked Oak Salt, Almond Oil
  3. Chopped Arugula, Roasted Watermelon, Fresh Basil, Toasted Garlic, Lemon Oil
  4. Pureed Avocado, Fresh Cilantro, Roasted Spinach w Shallots, Mini Heirloom Tomatoes, quartered, Macadamia Oil
  5. Roasted Endives with Bacon Fat, Fresh Italian Parsley, Roma Tomatoes, one roasted clove of Garlic, Olive Oil

I miss cheese.

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Heeelllloooo!

It’s been a while since I’ve used this site o’ mine, mainly because I could not figure out my password for my life. Got it now, we’re good to go.

As Bob Dylan has sung, “For the times, they are a-changin’…”.

She Looked. He Did Too.

Vignette #10,342,379,252. Good morning, errybody!

 

He sat there, befuddled. Why me?, he said.

She said, I’m sorry you were the one this happened to happen to.

He said, How is this happening to me!?

She said, It was just a look; it didn’t mean anything.

He said, “Are you kidding me??”

“Do you *really* need me to answer that question?”

“Yes!!! I need to know, for my own personal safety!!!”

She laughs, and says: “You’re allowed to look at other women, all day, everyday, and look at them not like an individual person. Look at them and think, essentially, they’re a Pump ‘n Dump. Get what you need, and bail. You’ll never seen them again, and it will never matter. Yet you see me receive a look from one man, only one, and you lose it. Have you *ever* thought about someone else other than yourself?”

He looks at her, furious in the face. She had verbally bitch-slapped him. And he didn’t like it. His reaction? A pure Kodak moment:

“BITCH, YOU’RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME!!!!!”

She laughs again, grabs her bag, and stretches. Getting up from the table, she says, “Then I wonder how you’re going to get home, grab all of your things, and move out? Who will help you? You don’t have a car, your things are everywhere, and you share *my bed*. Who will help you?”

He stared, slowly processing how to deal with this fair justification.

“…You’re right.”

 

 

 

Yo-Ghurt

Being lactose intolerant sucks. It’s terrible.

Luckily, I found out recently that there are ways to get around this *minute* issue.

(Secret food clubs, you’ve got nothing on me now!)

Probiotics and I are BFFLs now.

Or, instead of milk, there’s goat, almond, Lactaid, hemp, coconut, buffalo, etc. etc.

– Goat cheesecake, from the Surf Spot in Pacifica

– Green Valley’s line of lactose-free yogurts, cream cheese, and sour cream

– And now, this glorious company called NOOSA.

Unfortunately, I do not have a container of that heavenly goodness with me, seeing as my father also loves their yoghurt. I would like to say that yogurt is spelled with an h, because they’re English, or just really pretentious, but I can’t verify that yet. I’ll update ASAP.

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I love strawberry rhubarb pie. That was the first pie I ever made, from scratch, latticed crust and all.

NOOSA’s version of Strawberry Rhubarb….is like a thick, double-whipped, extra firm pillow, with a cool summer cool-down taste. That sentence may be a terrible use of English, but I could eat that entire container, and that isn’t healthy, but will I close my eyes after each spoonful, and hum contentedly?

Possibly.
Maybe.
There’s a high chance of that, but you’ll never know, unless you’re in front of me, with a camera in my face.
I might also smack said camera with my spoon, before I scoop more NOOSA onto it.

All Vinegar Is Not The Same

I moved to SoCal a couple of weeks ago, because I needed a change of scenery.

Living in LA is different than San Diego, San Francisco, and Santa Cruz.

My parents have been kind, and I’m living with them for now, because I’m hunting for a job or two. I’ve applied to a few places, and have gotten interviews, but no calls back.

While that’s been happening, for dinner tonight, I decided to cook 3 poached eggs.

Since there is a severe lack of ingredients here, I thought that if I substituted apple cider vinegar for distilled white vinegar that the egg whites wouldn’t spread out all over the place.

Well, I was wrong.

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The camera would have had steam covering it, preventing me from taking a photo, had I taken it while it was cooking. As you can see in the bowl, though, is are the whites went everywhere. They decided to take a short night trip to the every part of the pot.

Yes, I did not crack the eggs on the edge of the hot pot, and drop them into the boiling water. I couldn’t use a bowl to introduce the eggs into the water; the pot is a small one. I improvised, and cracked each egg in a small coffee mug, then dipped part of the mug into the water, easing each egg into the water. I did break the yolk of the last egg.

The lesson learned today: I will go and buy distilled white vinegar.

So Not Pho-bulous..

I love Trader Joe’s. I do, I do, I doooooo!!!

BUT.

Their Asian food is failing, HARD.

I used to think it was decent, that I could get by with it if need be.

Now, I just want to drop kick it out the window…
…but that’s littering, and not very nice.

So I’ll use my words instead, along with visuals/photos/Vines!!!

First off, 4/10. Now diving into the matter deeper:

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Pros
1. It’s quick. Stick it in the microwave, and in 6 minutes, you’ve got faux (intentionally wrong word).
2. If you want something small, this’ll match you need.
3. There are vegetables in it, albeit soggy ones.

Cons
1. Okay, the first thing that bothered me was the wording on the box, “a Vietnamese style recipe”. WTF IS THAT.

How hard is it to find/consult a Vietnamese chef, and have *them* sample the product, BEFORE it is mass produced!??!!?

2. It’s TOO SMALL. Before I microwaved this, there’s a rolled mass of rice noodles, that looks like it amounts to 1/4 cup.

As an Asian woman, I am offended. Noodles and rice are my life.

3. SOGGY VEGETABLES. Not only is the broth *terribly* underwhelming, no tang, no soul, no substance to it, THERE ARE VEGETABLES.

WHY.

If you go to a Vietnamese restaurant, any of them, even that one down the street that waters down their broth, there are no green onions/scallions, red bell peppers, grilled-ish onions, and *julienned carrots* in the bowl, EVER.

What they *do* give you is a plate, which is garnish, to help *accent/bring out* the flavors of/in the broth. Thai basil, bean sprouts, jalapeƱo slices, occasionally cilantro, and lemon/limes slices. There’s also hoisin sauce, sriracha, and soy sauce on the table, but I’m going beyond my point.

4. Something that I almost missed was the cut of ‘beef’ including in this “bowl” of pho.

5-7 of over-cooked, fatty, 2-inch pieces of BLEEP. Not thinly cut steak, not brisket, not beef balls.
Just BLEEP.

The point is WHY IS THIS PRODUCT SO TERRIBLE!???

I associated Trader Joe’s with good quality food, and their Asian food has *seriously* been lacking that.

I don’t know when they stopped having taste testers, but I would like them to hire them back, particularly me, because not only do I need a job, *hint, hint, nudge, nudge*, I would my small amount of money allotted for food each month not to be wasted.

Again, WHAT IS THIS SHIZZ!?!????

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TAKE OUT THE DAMN VEGETABLES.
I KNOW YOU ALL LIKE COLOR, BUT NO.

#insulted

T Pumps, After Pho #2!

After the redemption of my belief in pho, my friend tried to one up the night, and fix my issues with boba.

Here are my main problems:

1. The tapioca balls are slimey, over-cooked, or not cooked enough.
2. The tea is over-brewed, and I can taste the tannins awakening.
3. There is waaaaaaaay too much sugar/sweet. I like settleness.
4. Too many tapioca balls!

T Pumps is located, also on Irving, between 20th and 21st. My friend and I really did just walk ‘down the street’.

Luckily, we finished dinner early, according to a hypothetical California dinner time standard, a little before 8 PM on a Saturday, and walked over. The line is normally out the door, and down the block, but it was only to the door. I picked a reliable basic, green tea honey, and my friend got a milk tea boba.

While we were waiting in line, he told about this place, and how there are only 2 locations, here and in San Mateo, where the first store opened. The owner reached instant success, but it hit him too fast. He wasn’t ready to deal with it, and the quali-TEA plummeted. My friend believes that with the 2 stores, the quality has come back to about 60%, and might stay there, and possibly grow, if the popularity continues.

Anyway, here’s the thing, though: There are 2 different sizes at this place, 24 oz & 32 oz. Small and Large, no in-between. I spent about $7.50 for both; that’s pretty damn inexpensive! And, they have an option of making your drink sweet, super sweet, or just ridiculously sweet. I went with normal…

…And we waited about 10 minutes, and in that amount of time, we people watched, and the line grew out the door. My friend wasn’t kidding when he said that this place was legitimate!

Instead of the tops being sealed with a sheet of thin plastic, and the logo of the place, it was like a SOLO cup soda top, except you could use a boba straw to open it. I know this sounds silly, but my straw tip didn’t get ruined by me stabbing open the top; that’s a big deal to me, because I was giving boba a second chance.

I look at my drink, and yes, it was green tea, and there wasn’t too much boba at the bottom. It was just enough, and cooked right. While I was drinking the drink, I got 4-6 boba bubbles in the straw, spaced out in-between sips. And the tea was brewed correctly, not watery tasting, and no taste of tannins. My only issue was that I thought that my drink was border-lining on too sweet, and I chose the lightest level of sweetness possible! Good to know, for the future!

Seems like I like boba again….but grass jelly, and probably lychee, you two have lost me forever!

XD